The Pleasure Gap: Orgasms are Political

The Pleasure Gap: Orgasms are Political

For centuries, women have been shouldering an unfair weight in the orgasm game. But with sexual health awareness and all of its holistic benefits on the’s time to close the pleasure gap.

The Pleasure Gap

The Pleasure Gap refers to orgasm inequality found between men and women during heterosexual sex. Even between the sheets womens' needs are being unmet.

And this orgasm disparity has numbers.

A study conducted by Durex found that 20% of women said they don’t orgasm during sex compared to 2% of men.

And this seems to be an issue of intercourse...not so much women are solo (and not in same sex intercourse). One study found that 39% of women said they always orgasmed during masturbation rather than the 6% during penetrative sex.

The Knowledge Gap

So why are a generation of better sexually educated people still not having mutually pleasurable sex?

Well first, there is some real miscommunication.

While 30% of men said they thought the best way to help women orgasm was through penetration, more than half of women said clitoral stimulation was the winner.

Also, women have reported reaching orgasm less due to a lack of preparation and in large part, lack of lubrication.

One reason may be not prioritizing foreplay. Foreplay increases juiciness prior to sex. This is pivotal to closing the pleasure gap. But wetness doesn't always come easy, even with a caring, sensitive partner.

Today the world outside the bedroom is f*#!ing stressful. And, in turn, women are experiencing more depression and anxiety. Stress and antidepressants can cause low libido. Moreover, women who manage their mental health with medication can be more likely to battle vaginal dryness. The fact that orgasms have been found to relieve stress, finds women find in a complicated sex ouroboros. Yikes.

Little help?

This is where arousal oil can assist. Using an oil that increases vaginal wetness can decrease pain and boost pleasure. It’s use also builds foreplay into sex, putting vulvar touch front and centre.

How does one get out of the pleasure gap loop? By opening communication. Talking IS sexy.

You may find this inspires the use of new toys, techniques or tools like an arousal oil. We can already feel the chance for hot fun going up.

And you can always take matters into your own hands. Committing to solo play can be seen as real self-care.

The time for de-prioritizing women’s pleasure is now.


One way to keep minding the gap is by continually reminding women that they are deserving of the same orgasm frequency as their partners. 

There is nothing fundamentally more challenging about female orgasm and yet that myth lives on in so many minds.  

A good first step to evening the playing field is by taking care to ensure sufficient lubrication and arousal.

Bringing intention, direction and arousal oil to the discrepancy in sexual gratification means more equity in the sheets.

Sex Healthy Advantages

The Pleasure Gap not only has women missing out on fun but also real health advantages.

Orgasms provide a ton of wellness and skin benefits. Climaxing has been found to relax tense muscles, release mood-lifting chemicals, lower blood pressure and has links to menstrual cycle regulation.

And, closing the pleasure gap is not only sexual justice but it’s also good for the skin.  Blood vessels open during orgasm which stimulates collagen production in the skin. 

Along with mixing collagen into a daily smoothie we can plump our skin through orgasm?

Arousal oil helps produce moisture and expand sensitivity during sex which can help both women and men experience orgasm.  

Here’s to sexual tools helping to bridge the chasm, which should be a common goal. 

Image by Womanizer Wow Tech via Unsplash


Broster A. What Is The Orgasm Gap? [Internet]. Forbes. 2020 [cited 6 February 2021]. Available from:

Halton M. We need to talk about the orgasm gap — and how to fix it [Internet]. 2019 [cited 6 February 2021]. Available from:

Key Findings [Internet]. National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. 2009 [cited 6 February 2021]. Available from:

Mayer Robinson K. 10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex [Internet]. WebMD. [cited 6 February 2021]. Available from:

Schimelpfening N. 6 Tips For Coping With Sexual Side-Effects From Antidepressants [Internet]. Very Well Mind. 2020 [cited 6 February 2021]. Available from:

Wilson D. How Orgasms Keep Your Skin Healthy, Clear, and Glowing [Internet]. Healthline. 2019 [cited 6 February 2021]. Available from:



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