Self-care is often talked about in the form of bubble baths and a good book. What if we made self care about jerking off?
If anything, this year has prompted examination of misconceptions. Amongst thm, we hope to add the idea of self care as a simple sheet mask while watching Netflix.
Instead, we can turn inward. Something so natural yet rarely talked about. A part of sexual wellness (and overall health for that matter) but also fun.
The euphoric pleasure of intimate touch.
No Shame in the Game
What if there was nothing salacious about female masturbation?
I remember I started masturbating at a young age by lying over stools in my parents kitchen so that my pubic bone hit the rim of the stool. I have a friend who put Life game pieces in her undies and furiously rode her bike around the neighbourhood.
We laugh hard about these stories now but we weren't encouraged to continue experimenting once this side of us was discovered. And just like that, societal messaging crushed what could have developed into a healthy sexual life. Stunting a healthy sexual relationship with ourselves.
When I came of age, vibrators were either neon gummy silicone with cutesy creatures or giant phalluses, veins and all. There was also the odd leopard print dildo..because sexy women love leopard print, right?
And for challenges with wetness and moisture that came about? Gloopy lubricant came packaged in bottles that looked like pharmaceutical drugs, utilitarian and lab-created medicine for the “problem”.
Now, I think lube is great but not without thought to supporting moisture-production through mood and prioritizing women’s sexual needs and wants.
The sexual accessory market did not always seem to resonate with our needs and yet our needs continued to exist. If we could start acknowledging that self sexual fulfillment, and by proxy, orgasms, are part of self care.
If the thought of self-pleasure makes you clutch your pearls rather than double click your mouse, I encourage you to start rerouting those neural pathways in your brain.
A great start would be to expand your sexual health arsenal to include products made for women by women.
Arousal Oil: Get off with a lil help from your friends
Introducing tools into our sexual health routines should be as normal as using the use of an elliptical, vitamins and supplements or a great serum for our skin.
Sometimes we need a little help and sometimes we just need a bit of fun.
Arousal oil made from clean, non-irritating ingredients can promote moisture production, increase sensitivity and stimulation on our most sensitive parts.
Using a sex-enhancing oil during solo play can increase the productivity of time spent alone.
Hmmm… maybe we’re all over the concept of productivity.
However, using arousal oil can make masturbating more intentional and fun.
In the grand scheme of things, it is important now more than ever that womxn use whatever tools available to them to withdraw from stress caused by doom-scrolling, work circumstances, strain on relationships and isolation.
Forget the kitchen stool and the game pieces, it’s time to create a soft space for quality sex tools to land.
Bringing an arousal oil to our personal maintenance cache can be a gateway to a more holistic approach to wellness that doesn't omit the importance of sexual health.
Image via Unsplash by We Vibe Wow Tech