In my line of work, I have had many people admit to me the cosmetic procedures they have had done or are planning to do. From clients with grand blueprints of how they will reconstruct their faces, to little timid guilt admissions, I have told me some pretty amazing things.
But the other day, one of my closest friends told me she was considering getting a pretty intensive treatment done. To respect her privacy, I won’t go into detail about what it is, but I will say that even after the procedure, the way she cares for herself and her body would change forever. I was surprised because not only is she an incredibly grounded person, but also extremely attractive one. And, while I understand how looking good makes you feel good, our whole conversation made me wonder when beauty supports confidence, and when does it promote masochism.
Of course I delved right into my holistic speak …beauty comes from within… health is beauty… life doesn’t end at 40… In which she replied “Kris, I’m not a client.”
I hadn’t realized I was being preachy, and that was a moment of truth when I had to admit that there were things that bothered me about my own appearance. While I’m all about being holistic, I can’t say I don’t empathize being tempted with prospects of “perfection”. But I also know how important is it not to let ourselves get swallowed up by our insecurities, and that perfect beauty is a moving target. I have treated clients who have hid in their homes when they’ve broken out, I have spoken to clients in their 20s who have done unnecessary botox – and each time I am surprised because even I, a person who sees skin day in and day out for sometimes 8 hours per day, have no idea what they see.
And while its cliche, I think it stems from our culture which focuses results rather than process, competition rather than community, and the idea that somehow self-love is arrogant or something to be embarrassed about.
So, its Thanksgiving this weekend, and while I think its lovely to go ’round the dinner table and say what we are thankful for, maybe thing year we should announce that it is something about ourselves. Sure we’ll feel funny, a bit sheepish. But maybe that’s what we need – unabashed self-gratitude. I for one am thankful for my straight teeth – I’ve never needed braces, and they’re perfectly straight. I also like my shoulders – they are really broad, and sales people always marvel when fitting me for shirts – but they make me look powerful and strong.
What are you thankful for?